I just finished reading the book, In An Instant, by Bob and Lee Woodruff.
Bob was an embedded reporter who suffered a severe head wound while in Iraq. The book alternates between Bob and Lee’s experiences throughout the recovery process.
While Bob’s wounds were physical, Lee’s were emotional. Watching her husband lie in a coma for over a month while arranging for the care of their four children was an incredibly stressful experience for her. Even as he began the miraculous healing process, Lee was torn between needing to be with him and needing to be with her children.
Seldom do the families of those who have experienced a traumatic event ever get the same level of support as the victim. And yet, it can almost be more difficult to helplessly watch a loved one in pain than it is to be the one in that pain.
Food, transportation, and help with the daily chores can be helpful, but sometimes even more than material aid, what is most needed is someone’s quiet presence that allows the caregiver the opportunity to “lose it” for a little while.
We can often be the most supportive of someone in this type of situation by letting them know they don’t have to always be the strong one; that it’s OK to break down and cry and talk about their fears and concerns.
Sometimes family members feel as though they are being selfish when they talk about their own needs, but taking good care of themselves allows them to garner the strength to continue caring for their loved one.
Hope Makes Healing Possible!
Patricia Sherman, Ph.D., LCSW
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