It can be difficult for the people in your life to acknowledge that you have been traumatized.
Often they will try to cope with their feelings of helplessness by denying or being blind to what you are trying to tell them. They may also be feeling angry at whatever or whoever hurt you, but don't know what to do with their anger.
There are lots of educational materials available on PTSD.
Your local social service agency may have some, or you can find some online. After reviewing them yourself, select a couple that best represents your own situation.
Then, I'd suggest selecting one or two people with whom you are the closest and let them know you have something important to discuss with them.
Tell them you want them to just listen and then you will answer any questions they may have.
You can then share with them the information you have selected. Let them know how they can help you. They can't read your mind (although it would sure be easier if they could!).
Perhaps you need some time alone or maybe you would prefer to have company. Some types of touch might be difficult for you; others might be soothing. Only you know what you need from them; try to let them know what that might be.
Be as patient as you can with them. I know it's hard to expect you to do that when you are the one who has been hurt, but it's important to keep the goal in mind, which is to have them understand you and your situation.
If you are in therapy, it might be helpful to ask them to come with you to a session or two so that your therapist can help them understand. There are also support groups available for those who have experienced trauma as well as those whose loved ones have been traumatized.
Hope Makes Healing Possible!
Patricia Sherman, Ph.D., LCSW
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Comments (2)
I was diagnosed with PTSD about eight years ago. I wish I would have read something like this article back then! Thanks for the info and for allowing me to use it for the healing & therapy section of the blog carnival against child abuse.
Posted by marj aka thriver on June 21, 2007 3:16 PM
Nice post. It is important to speak up--choosing carefully, of course, who to tell. And the more fully we believe in our ability to heal, the easier it is to help others understand that as well.
April
Posted by April_optimist on June 24, 2007 3:34 PM